There is a cute little 70 yr old lady at church who watches my kids for me and she loves to host murder mystery dinners. She has been asking me to come try one for a while now so I thought, "why not"? Little did I know that It would be absolutely terrifying! There were many red flags that I should have given heed to but, alas I chose to ignore, let me explain.......
(1) I had to be a boy! A boy???? I am far too dramatic to be a boy! I don't even know how boy's act. I was an English Swordsman, arrogant and proud.... I bore a Family Crest on my Lapel that showed my great lineage. My name was Sir Lance Salot (pun intended). I was handsome, dashing and noble. I was a flirt and even found myself having an affair with one of the married women in the story. Red Flag #1 is that I am a good flirt and I know how to bat my eyes and flip my hair with the best of them but I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FLIRT AS A BOY! My flirting came off as the most feminine sissy boy. I really do pity poor "Lance Salot"!
(2) All of my friends know that I love accents and any child I have played with knows I have a mean English Accent that would even make an "Englishman" take a second listen (the only thing that throws them off a bit is a slight Mexican accent sometimes takes over). I feel I have perfected this accent but here is where the red flag #2 comes in............ I have a GIRL ENGLISH ACCENT! I can not, I repeat can not talk like a boy and a "Britt" at the same time, UGH!
(3) Number 3 is more of an observation than a red flag but I will throw it in here anyway! I am a talker, I love to talk and I love to question. I have never been one to really hold back, if I want to know I just find a way to ask without being tacky! I don't think this makes me a busy body, just curious. I love people, I love to see what makes them tick, how they think. I love to ask a question and then analyze, analyze, analyze. Rand does not love when I have him analyze with me. I guess this is why one of my useless minors in school was Sociology I just love the nature of people.
All of this questioning sometimes puts me as the center of attention but I feel like the lime light is still on the person in question, this is why I am definitely Oprah! This whole acting thing that I thought any drama girl like me could do was so so so embarrassing. I guess I hate acting! I hated the fact that I had to deliver a line and be funny or that I had to improv something witty or charming. The night was fun, full of laughs and good times...but seriously? The pressure of having to be a good actor, too much for me. Too much spotlight and too much boy stuff! I am so not a celebrity!
May I present to you..
The Completely Uncomfortable Sir Lance Salot!
(there is a small resemblance here of Joseph Smith, it might be the collar?)
I sometimes whine, whine, whine, but even through my embarrassment I had so so much fun, I think???
Isn't this a great group of women?
Thanks Marianne for the fun night!
2 comments:
Sound like tons of fun! Your costume was impressive! :]
How were you lucky enough to be the only one under the age of 50 to be invited?
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